Can i have sex with that?

I had no intention of being 31 and single, but when it comes to matters of the heart we don't always get to choose the definitive outcome.  so, here i am, 31 and single.  dating for the first time in a while and using tools i had not previously used.

How do we meet people if not in the bar or in class?  I am no longer in school and going to the bar just to troll for guys seems skanky at best.  Although, sometimes the idea of being a bit of a slut is pretty appealing.  There's this awesome (sarcasm) thing that happens in a woman's late 20's where your hormones spaz out and want to fuck anything and everything.  I mean, I could look at pieces of furniture and think of different scenarios in which i might be able to use it to work on my behalf.  While doing the dishes at work one day I was turned on just because the water was warm.  I mean, shit.  

So, my brain is saying "stop it, body", but my body is saying, "can i have sex with that?"

I just recently started online dating and the messages i'm receiving from dudes are really just kind of funny.  Not only am I seeing a lot of people on there that I know and knowing they are also seeing me on there, I am getting bombarded with the dumbest shit.  "how fat is your ass?" "what do you taste like?" "my mom told me to message you" (real as hell)

So, what's a reasonably attractive intelligent funny as hell girl in her 30s to do?  

Journey on. Journey on, I say.

because, if all else fails...i can probably have sex with that.