I had sworn off meeting people while out at the bar or a show, but then that just seems to happen naturally. I thought it was a negative thing for a while, but sometimes that's just where you are. There shouldn't be any shame in that. The shame that people talk about or silently feel comes afterwards. You know, that moment when you're trying to decide whether or not to go home with them. That moment when you do actually go home with them. The seconds before wondering if you're too drunk to do anything too scandalous or, furthermore, that moment you're just drunk enough to make that choice.
This brings us to my first ever attempt at a one night stand...
For the past 8 years I worked at a coffee shop and in just the last 3 years had been working the open shift pretty exclusively. This, of course, meant that I had to be there and ready to work before anyone else was going out the door and heading to their places of employment. I was, generally, the first thing people would see in the morning, so coming into work hungover or still working on being drunk and hiding it was out of the question.
It was a Tuesday night and, like most nights during the week, I had planned on staying in and getting some rest. I got a few phone calls from some friends just asking about meeting up for various happy hours, but I wasn't feeling much like doing so. Then, a friend whom I'd not seen in a while asked if I'd like to go to Dick's Den for bluegrass night and for some reason this seemed to be the best idea.
The night was like any other night there really. Older men dancing jigs to fiddles, harmonicas, and banjos and trying to coerce young women out onto the dance floor with them. Most of the girls usually humor them and join in a song or two. My friend and I sat at the bar and took in most of the sites until we were both drunk enough to go out onto the dance floor too. Both of us got spun around a few times by those just as drunk, if not more, than we both were. That's when I got spun into a kid standing not too far from me. He was cute and looked pretty young. I hadn't planned on talking to him, but my friend encouraged me in an, almost, aggressive manner to humor him in joining him for a smoke. I do not smoke and ended up just hanging out in the cold with a bunch of people.
How did I end up at his house? I have no clue. That part of the night is a bit foggy. I do know that one of his friends was there and we played darts. I found out that I'm terrible at darts. He asked me to go upstairs and I was hesitant at first, but my girlfriend, again, encouraged me. So, up the stairs I went and.....
nothing.
I tried. I really tried. It ended with me saying, "can we just stop? this is not happening for me. is it happening for you?" He agreed that it was not going to work out for either one of us. So, as I'm gathering my things he says, "I'll call you..." and my only response, naturally, was laughter. I kind of started cracking up. I mean, I was not expecting to see him ever again and was pretty happy just to chalk that up to a failed experiment in being single, but he said the words. So, being the person that I am and coupling that with being drunk I just said, "let's not pretend like you're going to call me. I'm not going to call you, you're not going to call me, we're not going to 'get to know' each other. however, if you want to try this again, maybe then you can call me." He took it rather well and it probably helped that he was wasted and passed out shortly after. I gathered all my things and ran down the stairs and out the door with my friend who had a good laugh on my behalf.
It wasn't until the next morning when I realized the $40 I had had in the back pocket of my jeans wasn't there anymore. I know I didn't spend it. What could I have done with it? I looked through the house real quick and in the car and then it hit me....shit! It had to have fallen out in his bed. awkward.
So, here I am now. 31 years old and just paid a guy for sex that I didn't even have.
Classy.
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